Give Me a Number: 1 – 10

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November 4, 2012 by trixiec67

Yes I have been missing from the blog scene for a while. It’s not many people have noticed. However, there is a legitimate reason for my absence. It’s called pain. There has been plenty of it; most of it the form of migraine headaches.

As the little image above illustrates, it can sort of feel like your head is in a vice. For those of you that have never suffered from a migraine, CONGRATULATIONS! I envy you. Those of us that do have them, we can commiserate with one another.

One of my pet peeves about having pain of any kind is when you go to doctor’s office, the nurse that sees you first will ask, “What is your pain level on a scale from one to ten? Ten being the worst.” That has got to be the stupidest rating system yet. I have a pretty high tolerance for pain. Example: I get lower lumber epidurals. A three-inch needle is stuck in my lower spine just at the small of my back. I don’t bother getting any sedative because they don’t knock you out all the way. You get a little loopy and then you need someone to come with you.

One day while waiting for my mom at an appointment I happened to strike up a conversation with a woman who had back problems as well. She received epidurals. When she heard I opted out of sedation, she nearly started yelling and went on and on about how she would never go through the procedure without it. So if we were both asked our pain levels, is my 2 her 10? Who’s right? Is there a wrong?

They should have more accurate questions, like:

Does it feel like someone is hitting your head with a rubber mallet or an eight pound sledge-hammer?

Does it feel like Gallagher is using your head as a substitute for a watermelon in his act on stage?

Is your eyeball ready to blow out of its socket?

Are you going to vomit on my shoes any second?

Does this flashlight in your eyes cause the top of your head to blow off?

Does this bugle playing Revelly make you want to punch me in the face?

You see, I think these are much more efficient questions for someone who is suffering from a migraine. I have prescription medication from my neurologist. However, it’s not strong enough. I took a nasty fall back in August due to a crummy broken cement walkway.

I knocked my jaw out of alignment. I already have TMJ. My ancient mouth guard is useless now. I had to wait to see my spinal surgeon before any of my other doctors would move ahead with any treatment. When my dentist heard I was seeing my spinal surgeon, they suggested that I see a Jaw Specialist. Woo-hoo. More new doctors to see.

A Jaw Specialist is more than just a dentist. These are the professionals that actually perform maxiofacial surgery if necessary. They rebuild the entire facial structure for patients with major problems. I’m just hoping they can figure out if my headaches are a result of my misaligned jaw and the horrible neck pain that goes with it along with numb hands.

My spinal surgeon’s recommendation for my pain management doctor is to now give me my epidurals in my cervical (that’s the neck) spinal area. Nice, a three-inch needle poked into the back of my neck. Where’s my stress ball? Better yet, where’s my lead bullet to bite on?

Hey guys, do you have any Civil War lead bullets in the shop I can sink my teeth into?

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