Who Wants an Epidural?

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June 27, 2012 by trixiec67

Who really wants to submit themselves to the pain of having someone stick a needle in up your spine? What is the real purpose of this? Most people have only heard of this procedure in relationship to childbirth. In my case, I had a total ass administer the epidural to me during the labor with my daughter, TWICE, with no pain relief results at all! I  just remember the pain of the contractions and the pain of being stuck in the spine. Twice.

So why am I now happy to make an appointment to go and get stuck in two weeks and receive an epidural? Well first of all, I just spent over two hours in the office of a Pain Specialist Group. That’s all these doctors deal in all day long. I also discovered that they have a very close relationship with my spinal surgeon. I love my spinal surgeon. He’s one of the best in the country. As a matter of fact, he’s installed titanium in me twice. He’s the reason I’m walking. But I would like to avoid seeing him again any time soon. Recovery is no picnic.

I have degenerative disc disease. As luck would have it, I was born with it. As the years have progressed, I developed degenerative spinal arthritis on top of it. I never really thought much about the arthritis. I just didn’t think I was feeling any effects from it. However, I have a wealth of pain down my legs and feet, especially down my left side. My neck is not faring well either.

My parents should have figured out I was going to be big trouble in the health department when I rolled off the changing table at seven months and broke my left leg above the knee. That half body cast that went around my waist and down my leg to the ankle was no joy for my 4′ 11″ mother. Oh yeah, cloth diapers back then too. Ewwww. Then there was the stomach pumping because of no child safety caps on the baby aspirin. Orange flavored aspirin tasted good. The stitching up of the toes because I wasn’t wearing shoes riding on the adult tricycle and my foot went into the spokes. This was all before the age of five. I’ll stop here.

I wonder if this has anything to do with being the accursed middle child? Anyway, as it was explained to me by the wonderful staff and doctor I saw today, these epidurals are done under very controlled circumstances. As the doctor put it, “We cheat. We use x-rays so we can see exactly where the needle is being placed. No guess work.” They use really good stuff to numb the area. You are given an IV and they showed me the area where they do it. It looks just like a hospital. They told me I can’t drive myself home after the procedure.

I was talking to my sister about it. She has a friend who get these on a pretty regular basis. My sis told me I will be kind of wiped out that day, but I’ll be fine the next. Hey, anything to stop my feet from getting that pins and needles sensation while I’m sitting through a particularly looooong homily on a Sunday. I might tend to annoy the people behind me while I do the three-year olds fidget dance in the pew, not to mention looking ridiculous.

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